Whilst waiting for my second bag of precious A-, it became clear that I may be stuck in hospital for a few days and not just hours. The mind struggles to keep up with the unfolding events and information, buzzing from one extreme to the other. To feel alone, yet surrounded, tired, but horribly awake, like you’re in danger, yet in safe hands. These are just some of the conundrums that ruminate through the mind.
With concern of infection my second transfusion was extra slow continuing through the night, sleep was not an option. It was in these sleep deprived hours that I decided to document my surroundings using my mobile phone. Hospital life is something I’ve been lucky enough not to experience prior to January.
I captured all I could see within my cubical from my bed. As I began photographing in my lonely wired state, I became aware of certain items, logos, textures and patterns that are iconic of the NHS. I found that it was these iconic and stereotypical hospital views that provoked conflicting feelings. The connotations of my surroundings were changing through the night. Things I once perceived to be clinical and cold, I began to seek comfort in. The crease within my textured blankets, the shadow of the patterned cubicle curtain, both harsh in the florescent light, yet creating protection and privacy. The contrast of A- in the intravenous cable against the white sheets, both filling me with angst yet relief.
My stay lasted five days, my longest yet. I had never thought too much about hospitals, medical equipment, doctors/nurses or donations of organs or blood before. Yet it was all there when I needed it. However ill, tired or scared I felt, I knew I was lucky to have such access to healthcare. I am grateful for the NHS, regardless of its niggles and I am grateful to my A- donator, whoever you are. Thank you.
HANNAH HODGSON 